everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
