I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
