hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
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life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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