please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
