If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
