Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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