He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
