I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
