I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
