So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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