Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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