my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My liver just had a heart attack.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
