That's when you crack a 10am beer
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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