So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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