kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
