She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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