Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the raccoons are back...
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