I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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