Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
