I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
