Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
