ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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