i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
