2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
