My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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