So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
