Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
