Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
