i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
