For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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