Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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