I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
