My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
