OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
