just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
