so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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