So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
