did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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