So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
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I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think your dad took our porno
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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