youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am mentally ready for anal.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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