come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
