When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Sober January is a disaster.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
