Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
