Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize