i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
