I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Brb crying the tears of my youth
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize