plz talk dirty to me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
