I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
