This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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