respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
