playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
