So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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