I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
