Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
