My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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