apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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