she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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