At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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