Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
