honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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